Title: Straight Face Author: FirePhile Classification: VA Spoilers: Pine Bluff Variant Rating: PG-13 Summary: What Mulder was thinking during the execution scene. Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, the whole gang aren't mine, they belong to 1013 Productions, CC&Co and FOX Television. Feedback: Yes! Send all to FirePhile@aol.com Author's Note: A first person Mulder thing is new for me, but after watching the brilliant acting by DD in PBV, I couldn't resist. * * * Eyes forward, don't turn around. Walk, one foot in front of the other. Try to avoid thinking about what lies behind one of these pieces of plastic. Lies, lies, within lies wrapped in a conspiracy. What the hell is this place anyway? I remember hearing someone say something once, about how the only thing you have when your death is imminent is your dignity. How you died becomes more important than how you lived. Oh who the hell am I kidding, I'm terrified. More scared than I've ever been. So, put up a brave front, let no emotion through, and let them think that I'm stronger than I am. I've thought about death before, come damn close to it many times. Too many times, what is that saying about cheating death? Well Mr. Bruckman, this is more dignified than autoerotic asphixiation. I always thought I'd die searching for the truth, gunned down in an abandoned base, kidnapped and tortured or maybe a hero's death, bringing down the consortium in the process. At least those situations would have meaning, this is meaningless. Their operation went off without a hitch, sprayed money, killed that poor guy, who I was close to shooting, could have shot, would have never forgiven myself. Well, I'm about to die, that's sort of a moot point now isn't it? I can see it what will happen, even now, tellers, patrons, falling to the ground, their deaths painful but hopefully quick. Skin disappearing off their bones, faces twisted in agony. At least I'll die when the bullet enters my brain, relatively painless in comparision. Don't think of that, no emotion remember? My gravestone certainly won't read "no regrets". I have nothing but regrets, I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy mom, sorry I couldn't find Sam. I'm sorry Scully, sorry that I put you through so much, that you lost so much, about your sister, your health. You have to take them down after I'm gone, don't let our work be in vain. I hope this wasn't a setup, 14 innocent victims for one man's guilty head. If it is a trap, Scully, it's possible they're after you next.... Will my body be found? Probably not, you'll figure out what happened, it's your turn to carry the torch now. He's telling me to kneel and put my hands behind my back. This sembalance of calm is starting to crack, I can't obey him, my body won't move. These are the last sensations I will ever have. The wind, the sun, the grass under my feet, the sound, it will all be gone soon. He tells me again, I will my body to do it, but my eyes betray me and silently plead for a moment with the gimp. There are no bargins to be made. The grass is wet and I revel in it. Try to lose myself in my mind, so that I am gone before the gun goes off. This is it, there's no gun against my neck, I don't even have the comforting pressure. I wish I believed there was something after this - what they say is true right now I want to believe. Goodbye Scully, I'm sorry to leave you like this. Instense light, life flashing like a kaliedoscope before my eyes in a millionith of a second. Enough anticipation, do it. Gunshot. Didn't know that people could hear that sound before they died...wait I'm still thinking. A body falls next to me, it's the gimp. I fall forward in reflex, I can't believe it, I'm still alive. Do I have to believe in God now? He's speaking to me, what the hell? Not God, something else - Bremer wasn't what he seemed. A double agent? One of us? Or one of someone else? No time to think about it, there are lives to save, have to stop people from touching that money. I hope I'm not too late. That guy Skinner's working with has some explaning to do when I see him again. END FirePhile - FirePhile@aol.com "Nojo on the Romo!" - "Sure, fine, whatever." - "Go Noromo Ninja!" Member of EMXC, SPCDD, XFF, atxc, FT, NOROMO, BTS, XF.