Title: No More Pardons Author: FirePhile (FirePhile@aol.com) Classification: VA Spoilers: One Son Rating: PG-13 Archive: Anywhere. Summary: It began with a shot... Disclaimer: These aren't mine, they belong to CC&Co, 1013 and FOX. Author's Notes at end. The X-Files division ended and began not with a whimper but a bang. The shot down in the basement alerted both the tourists milling around on the first floor and the security guards at the front door. The families and college students figured it had to be part of the tour -- but they weren't at the gun demonstration yet. However, when the tour guides started using their transistor radios and led the people to the nearest exit it was obvious something was horribly wrong. Security officers ran down to the basement. It could mean their asses if anything had happened -- damn metal detectors. Sure, it could pick up a straight pin but did it accidentally miss a gun? Their stomachs lurched at the thought. Finally, they reached the door and opened it -- a truly ghastly sight greeted them. "Officer down!" One of them yelled into their transistor radio. A young agent ran up to AD Kersh's office and knocked on the door. "Sir there's been a situation downstairs," the agent said nervously, smoothing down his tie and dirty blonde hair. Scully stood up and practically ran out of the room. Mulder had left the meeting as quickly as possible -- hell, it was the most time they'd spent together in days. He didn't say where he was going but she somehow thought he might head down to the basement...now that he was allowed again. She spotted the stairs and practically leaped down them two at a time. Even after the way he had acted all week -- the idea of him lying there, no...she couldn't think about that. Her heart beat faster as she reached the basement floor. Mentally prepared herself for the sight, silently prayed she was wrong. The sharp unmistakable smell of blood greeted her as she neared the X-Files office. Several security guards blocked the entrance. "Let me through. I'm a doctor, " she demanded, trying to push by them. "We've been ordered to keep this area off limits until the ambulance arrives." One of the security guards told her coldly. "Listen, I need to get in there, someone could be hurt. I can help," she insisted, her eyes daring the security guard to try to stop her. "Agent...." "Dana Scully, I was just reassigned to this office and if you don't let me through I will..." she tried to look over their shoulders and failed. "Agent Scully," a deep voice spoke behind her. "Sir, what happened here?" she spun around and faced Skinner - anxiety clouding her eyes. "We're not sure yet. There's no body, however, one of the guards found this," he held up a plastic evidence bag which enclosed a plastic pass. The name was almost obscured by red streaks. "Agent Spender." It wasn't a question and she felt sick with relief, which only caused the anger to flood back into her thoughts. She cursed herself for her weakness, why did Mulder still matter so much to her? At that moment she knew she had to talk to him. She felt almost absurdly grateful that the shooting gave her an excuse to call him. "Mulder," Had he always sounded so tired and downtrodden? "It's me, there's been a shooting in the office." "What?" a note of incredulity in his voice. "They think Spender was the victim...we need to talk." He was silent for a moment, "I think we do. When?" "Your place in an hour." she said after a few seconds and hung up. Sadly, Spender was the last thing on her mind. She was shocked he was dead, or perhaps dead but the thing with Mulder was not going to go away. Ignoring the problem would only lead to serious trouble, they had to have it out or there would be no going back. She was no longer sure of her position in the partnership and it felt like she was walking on quicksand the past few days. It was hard to feel that us against them mentality, almost impossible. Trust and shared history counted for something -- or so she thought. It was possible she reacted a bit hastily, still in the right but just a bit harsh. However, Mulder deserved a chance to redeem himself -- explain his case, hear her out...before any final decisions were made. Otherwise, there was no way in hell they could work together and she really didn't have the strength to fight him for the X-files and it could get ugly quickly. She walked out of the FBI, to her car, and drove towards his apartment. Already a bit nervous about the conversation she and Mulder -- who never really talked to begin with were being practically forced to have. * * * "It's been less than an hour," he said by way of welcome, while hanging up her trenchcoat on his coat rack. "Traffic was light," she answered, walking into the living room area. She moved towards the couch and then reconsidered, deciding to stand instead. It seemed as if she was unwilling to give up even that small possible advantage. "So, you wanted to talk." "Yes, I need to know where we stand -- where I stand. Actually, I'll tell you my view on the subject and you can answer when I'm finished. Or you can ignore me, at this point I don't care." she took a deep breath. "First of all, how dare you accuse me of having a personal interest. You told me a few months ago that this whole quest is intensely personal to you. You take everything personally - why aren't I allowed the same rights? Aren't we partners in this or do I exist to pick up the pieces of your shattered life after every battle? I refuse to be only your healer or mender in this...whatever we have." She stood directly in front of him. "There were times in the past where the only thing that kept me here was the knowledge that you needed me. You told me I made you a whole person...that I was your one in five billion. How come I never noticed what a liar you were before? How you never practice what you preach? I must have been blind for six years to miss what you really are... manipulative bastard." She knew each one of her words was hitting its mark. He reacted as if he'd been slapped and she continued. "I was concerned for you...concerned towards Diana Fowley the same way I was towards...Deep Background or X or Ambrose Chapel. Dammit Mulder sometimes you are too trusting and entirely too gullible. Every time I question someone's motives you attack me. I can't deal with this kind of...partnership and no matter what you try you can't make me agree to it. You look at things that don't exist and ignore the things that do." She purposely avoided looking at him during her next burst of anger, "We're in this 50-50 or not at all. But you have to tell me where we stand because right now I don't feel as if you particularly want me around and I really can't summon up to strength to care. Either way, I'm not leaving. If you want a partner - fine. If you want someone against you every day, all day -- that's your decision. Believe me, I'd rather work with you...but not if you mock my beliefs, my thoughts, my feelings, my intuition, my motives for God's sake!" Instead of calming her down the outburst only gave her more energy and her palm itched with the desire to punch him. It wasn't necessary -- her words did more damage than her fists ever could. "I don't know what to say," he whispered and slumped down on his couch. "I...was wrong. It's just that so many people have betrayed me and I didn't want to believe Diana was one of Them. The idea that she was part of them, that I was manipulated even back then...do you have any idea how it feels to find out your life was basically...planned? Random feelings, emotions, meetings...they were all meticulously plotted out." he covered his face with his hands and sighed. "You were right...as I was waiting - praying foolishly that you were wrong, CGB entered the apartment. After what he told me, I've never been so close to giving up...never been so close to wanting to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. There was no action that could save anyone. The only people I had a chance of rescuing was myself and people who I cared about. But Scully, you're the only reason why I even wanted to save myself. I knew you'd never forgive me if I gave up entirely. And finally...you saved me from the darkness that was so close, you saved my life. If not for you I would have blithely followed Diana to that base and...I'd be in those pictures." He looked over at her and continued. "They've succeeded in breaking me. It's so damn hard to care what happens...what they're doing and why. No one ever said the truth would be worse than all the lies. I've been searching so long that I never really considered what would happen when the search ended. And now I just feel...," he trailed off in frustration. "Lost? But the players are all different now...you said so yourself...." she couldn't find the anger she'd had only a few minutes before. Not after his explanation and the way he was looking at her. "I know what I said Scully. The future may be here, I just don't know if I have the strength to keep fighting it. Nothing I do, or seemingly have ever done has made one bit of difference and has only brought pain to everyone I care about. Now, the death toll only rises. Spender is the latest in a long line of victims...and I fear won't be the last." He stood up and walked over to his window, looking out into the sky. "Someday...this place may no longer exist. Colonization will happen, the ships will appear like clouds outside this window and there will be no more pardons." He lay his right palm flat against the glass, closed his eyes, and leaned his head against the window. "Not if we have anything to say about it." she walked up to him and her fingertips brushed his left hand. He reached out and squeezed her hand gently. "We'll win in the end." she whispered. "I'm sure we will." he whispered unconvincingly while behind his eyes burned bodies screamed for vengeance. It should have been a depressing moment but instead it made Scully feel as if the ground finally solidified under her feet, no more changes would happen. They were...connected again. She squeezed his hand in return and watched the people running around on the street below. All those people had no clue what had almost happened. Scully was strong enough to think that they would never know. She only had to make Mulder see that they were needed. Even if a line from one of the Godfather movies about trying to get out and being pulled back in flashed in her subconscious she knew they had no choice. Her grip tightened as she tried to push her optimism into him. As they started out the window one saw the opportunities of the future and the other could only think about the lost past. "I can't let go of what's happened," he admitted, avoiding her eyes. "I'll help you...we'll get through this," she looked up at him, her expression radiated confidence. She had to be the strong one and it was a role she slipped into with ease. He smiled grimly and removed his hand from the window and his gaze finally met hers. Wordlessly, he nodded and faced her. "I couldn't do this without you." It was now or never, "I couldn't do it without you either," she said softly. His expression changed almost immediately, became more tender, and like the Mulder she used to know. Tentatively, he reached out and drew her gently towards him. She relaxed into the embrace and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair and rubbed her back gently. "I'm sorry too," she said after a moment and let herself enjoy the comfort of being in his arms. It was a sensation she didn't think she'd ever experience again. After a few minutes she realized they couldn't stay like that all day and reluctantly pulled away. Her phone rang a few moments later. "Scully," she answered quickly. "Agent Scully, this is Dr. Onsind with the investigative team. You wanted to be alerted to any new information and we just found what seems to be cigarette ash in the bloodstain. Thought you would like to know." "Yes, thank you," she hung up. "That was Dr. Onsind...he found cigarette ash." "Rumors of CGB's death are always exaggerated." "But why would he shoot his own son?" "You can't trust the devil, Scully." He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. They sat in silence for a minute or so. Finally, she said, "I should be going. We have a long day of questioning tomorrow." He nodded and watched her leave. "Bye Scully," he said after she closed the door. He walked back towards the window and looked out at the sky. END. Author's Note: I had to write this story. I did. After seeing One Son I was having trouble with a WIP because I couldn't quite feel sorry that Mulder and Scully were having problems. So, I had to write a story that would redeem Mulder -- at least in my eyes. Send any comments to FirePhile@aol.com and tell me if I succeeded in some small way. The whimper and bang comment belongs to someone else as does the quote from the Godfather. Oh this is also to nurse a poor broken shipper heart. Thanks to my beta readers on this one, Amanda, Stimp and luv. Thanks for reading. Rachel E. --- FirePhile@aol.com http://www.geocities.com/~annaotto/intro.html "I'm sorry - did I break your concentration?" - Pulp Fiction