Title: Electronic Music
Author: FirePhile 
Clasification: VA
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Biogenesis		
Summary: Sanity slips and stumbles.
Feedback: Yeah baby! Send to FirePhile@aol.com
Disclaimer: Not mine.  They belong to CC&co, 1013 and FOX.

For the first time I believe them when they say I might be insane.  The
voices... mocking, cruel, loving, hateful, speaking of betrayal and affairs and
failed lives call to me.  They give me no commands, no rules to follow...they
just speak.  Tell me mundane ideas, what they had for lunch, who they want, who
they hate...and even in this room I can't shut them up.  There's no one around
and yet I still hear it in my head. 

I'm not...not like Gibson, I can't hear people thinking, can't focus on their
thoughts. 

It's slowly tearing me apart and it reminds me of a book I read where brilliant
people were implanted with a device that went off every 20 seconds to stop them
from being able to think.  I can't think...my reasoning is lost.  

Even when I'm alone I still hear the voices.  I can't remember the cases I've
studied about this...can barely remember my own name.

It hurts...it hurts, it hurts, like someone jabbing at my skull with a
sharp object and I only want it to stop -- stop, stop, stop, stop, shut up, 
shut up, shut up!

Suddenly, I'm travelling, far, far away...through wires, listening to
equipment. Hospital security cameras, patients in drug aided comas....I can
access the footage, can hear the screams the voices,  the voices, the
voices...the deaths, the sound of a code, a crash, accident victims pouring
in...

Now I can see it and the blood, it's all over, it won't go away and a new born
baby cries and the mother's happy and the father looks on and...and...

A woman stares at a monitor, her hand touching the screen.  Her voice rings in
my ears and I recognize it after a moment.

No cure, schizophrenia, violent outbursts...a doctor's voice and she turns to
look at him and I hear, very clearly, I need to help him.

Oh Scully, I'm beyond help.  

I grab my head and start squeezing, shut up, shut up, shut up...not the voice,
not that voice...please, please, please...

The sound of a door and the sting of a needle and...

I feel my fist connect with skin and I'm covered and unable to move
and my chest hurts and I'm restrained and pushed into a corner of the room and
I try to push into the wall because I want to sleep and I can't...and their
drugs don't work and I wish they would and oh God...a young child is being
wheeled into the ER and they can't save her and...

Please, make it stop -- help me Scully, help me...help me...

And in my mind I see her walk away.

END

Author's Note:  Thanks to Amanda and Danielle for looking over this.   I know this 
is the umpteeth Mulder-POV Post-Biogenesis story written.  But my muse bit and 
forced me to write.  I love to hear from people so send feedback to FirePhile@aol.com.  
Oh and any similarity to other stories is totally unintentional.