Title: At the Edge Author: FirePhile Classification: SRA Rating: PG/PG-13 Spoilers: None Keywords: M/S UST Summary: Mulder witnesses a crime and goes to Scully for comfort. Disclaimer: They aren't mine- they belong to 1013, CC&Co and FOX Television Network. And Lady MacBeth belongs to Shakespeare :) Send all feedback to FirePhile@aol.com. July 1 Scully's Apartment The knocking woke her immediately. She looked at her clock and groaned, it was too late or too early depending on your perspective. She briefly considered staying in bed. In fact her eyes were closing and her head was moving back towards the pillow. But, another knock and she was up. The floor was cold, surprisingly so, considering that it was summer. She glared at her air conditioner, briefly considering turning it off. But decided against it when she remembered it was hot outside. She padded to the door, not even bothering to put on her robe. The green silk pajamas she wore were warm enough and besides whoever was at the door was not going to be staying very long. She stood on tiptoe and looked through the peephole. Of course, Mulder, what a surprise. She opened the door. His eyes were closed and she could barely hear him, "I couldn't save her." Scully's instincts and senses went on full alert. she prayed. "Mulder?" He'd start talking eventually. He opened his eyes, they were bloodshot. "Mulder, what happened?" she tried again, unsuccessfully. He lifted his hands, they were covered in blood. She couldn't help but be a bit surprised. Then she noticed that his jacket was zipped to his neck. She said a silent prayer and pulled down the zipper. The blood stain was noticeable immediately. He didn't meet her eyes. "Are you hurt Mulder?" Part of her was hoping he'd say yes - she didn't want to think where the blood came from. "I couldn't save her," he wasn't moving into the apartment. She took a deep breath, "Come inside." She grabbed his wrist gently and pulled him inside. "Mulder, what happened?" she asked again, anxious now and a bit nervous. "I was running..." he whispered. He stood still, not making a movement towards the couch or anyplace for that matter. She felt his head, no temperature, thank God. "They were...," he swallowed, "hurting her. I couldn't...she died in my arms." His voice cracked. "Who was she?" "I don't know," he whispered and shook his head, as if he could somehow erase the image from his mind. "Who was hurting her?" "I don't know...they killed her... I called 911...too late. Couldn't save her." "You need to clean your hands," Scully whispered. "And change your shirt." She put her arm around his back and led him to the bathroom. She removed his jacket and shirt. "I'll go see if I can find another one." Once inside he looked away from the red which dripped down the sides of the sink. He washed his hands thoroughly - and then fanatically. Grabbing a washcloth to scrub harder. Checking under fingernails for phantom traces of blood. Turning up the water temperature to as hot as it could go. Rubbing hands under the scalding water, barely noticing the red blotches starting to form. Scrubbing his hands after they were clean and spotless. Scully returned, unsuccessful in her search, to find him still rubbing his hands together under the water. She saw steam rising from the sink and turned down the water temperature. "It's off Mulder," she whispered to him. "No, I still see it. Her blood's still there - in the cracks." He continued washing his hands. "She fought back -- was stabbed. I ran to her, shot after them...no difference..." She grabbed his hands and held them. "The blood's gone." To prove her point she washed his hands and examined them. "They're clean," she whispered. She saw in her mind the mental image of Lady Macbeth wandering down castle corridors while rubbing her hands frantically. "She looked so small....," He looked into Scully's eyes, tearing again. "Her bright blue eyes stared at me...pleaded with me to help her -- I couldn't do anything," he took a shaky breath. Scully led him into the bedroom and made him sit on the edge of the bed. She didn't say anything - didn't have to, he continued talking. "Breaths coming slower...stopped completely. Blood spilled on my clothes. Her small hands dug into my forearms for a second before.... I can't get the picture out of my mind. After the ambulance left I found...something." He stared at Scully for a few seconds, before continuing. "What did you find?" Scully asked softly, sensing he wasn't finished. He took another deep and shaky breath. "Near the wall - a broken cross necklace.... I...too many people have died in my arms." "Mulder...," "From a distance -- she looked like you. Acted like you... thought she was you. When I got close enough and saw - I felt sick at my relief. I cradled her and all I could think was thank God she wasn't you." He rubbed his arms, as if he was cold. "After I saw the necklace -- I...couldn't go home. Couldn't be alone....I ran to my car and drove here. I had to see you...I don't think I could take losing you again." He gazed at her. "You're the most important person in the world to me Scully. I don't know what I'd do without you. I need to hold you, feel you in my arms. I need to know that you're safe and alive." His eyes teared again, remembering that awful moment before he saw that the woman wasn't Scully. She nodded and climbed into bed. His arm went around her tightly, almost too tightly. He lay down, her head against his bare chest. She could hear his heartbeat under her face. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. The thoughts going through Scully's head were wrong, very wrong. She was having all kinds of very wrong thoughts. It was taking all her willpower not to move her head and kiss his chest and continue those kisses down and...she stopped herself there. After all, he had just been through a traumatic experience. "I don't know what I'd do without you either," she whispered. She felt him rub her back, slowly. . She lifted her head and moved herself up. Kissing him softly on the cheek felt right. He needed the comfort. His cheek felt cold to her. He made no movements. She was worried. His eyes opened to find Dana Scully's lips near his. So, he did the only thing he could think of. The absolute wrong choice. He kissed her softly on the lips. Her eyes widened in surprise. she tried to convince herself. If only she could ignore how much she wanted to feel his lips against hers again. She looked up at him yet again and kissed him back. Longer, much longer this time. Lips meeting lips, tongue meeting tongue. He ran his hands through her hair and caressed her neck. She explored his face with her hands and ran her fingers through his hair. His hands moved up and down her back, under her silk top. She wanted him to continue, more than anything at that moment, but knew she couldn't. She broke the contact. "This is wrong Mulder, we have to stop." "I don't know what I'd do without you Scully," He repeated. her thoughts screamed. She lay there, unable to move, knowing that they were about to cross some invisible line. One which she felt he wasn't ready to cross. After all, he had come to her for comfort and might still be in shock. She had imagined this moment but now that it had come she realized that it wasn't the right time. She'd never hated her logical side more than she did right now. "I think its late and we should both get some sleep. You stay here, I'll take the couch." Reluctantly she pulled herself out of his arms and stood up. "I could take the couch," he offered. "No, you don't get to sleep in a bed often enough. Besides, I have some work to finish," she lied. "I tried my best to save her Scully." His eyes met hers. She nodded slightly. "I know you did, we'll talk tomorrow." Resisting her body's desire to crawl back into bed and snuggle up against him was harder than she thought it would be. She managed to get out of the room and close the door. She took a deep breath, that was close -- too close. END Author's Note: This was my first MSR/UST story - please send all feedback to FirePhile@aol.com. Huge thanks to Alanna, Joe and Chris for their suggestions and Jen for beta reading :)